So a Wood Rat and a Metal Pig have a Wood Horse…

Connor is a quarter Chinese (via Jamaica), so we thought it would be cool to document his Chinese Zodiac and see what the future has in store for our little bugger…

Disclaimer: I have zero to no idea how to interpret the Chinese Zodiac so I did my best. Any glaring errors can be pointed out below.

I felt pretty confident that I could handle the basics and quickly determined that Popeye was born in the year of the wood horse. A yang wood horse to be specific. This means that the little man will be lovable, happy and quick-witted. He will also be adventuresome, headstrong and disobedient when you try to stop him from doing what he wants. A wood horse will be an early talker and an early walker. He will be affectionate, daring and the center of attention.

He will look like this by age three

Baby horses are chatty and will begin gurgling and making noises at an early age. They love to hear themselves and will babble on and on and on. Now at two weeks old, this kid already makes all kinds of sounds. He just goes on and on whether he’s awake or asleep. My newborn knowledge is pretty limited (I have exactly two weeks of experience) so maybe this is normal behavior.

Speaking of normal behavior, do all newborns stretch like crazy? He does full body stretches, then moans, contorts, sighs, throws his arms in the air and exhales in complete exasperation. Is it that tiring to be a baby? He makes it look exhausting.

As I looked further into the Chinese Zodiac, I learned that you can narrow it down to the hour. Here’s what I came up with for Connor:

• Yang Wood Horse (3rd Trine / Fixed Fire Element)
• Internally a Wood Tiger by month
• Truly a Horse by day
• Secretively a Monkey by hour (using Beijing CST which was +14 hours at the time)

I haven’t yet found a resource where you can plug in all those things to get a more precise reading, but it sounds pretty bad ass to be a tiger on the inside while harboring a deep, dark monkey secret.

So how does one parent a little horse with a tiger brain and a monkey on his back?

Very, very carefully…

The Chinese Zodiac says that patience will be the key to parenting a wood horse. He will not respond well to discipline and will need to be nudged in the right direction instead of being forced to do something. The horse child operates at high mental and physical speeds and attacks life with vigor.

I’m getting worn out just thinking about this.

I also looked up our animals to see how we will interact with our little monster. As a metal pig, I am destined to enjoy the pleasures of familial paradise with my powerful and reliable wooden horse. While that sounds blissful, Heather’s relationship will be a little more trying as a wood rat is not super compatible with a wood horse. She is destined to experience complexity when disciplining her little pony and will have to make a conscious effort to create harmony.

No matter how it all pans out, we will do our best with our little stallion.